i HeLl CiViL [ may I, plz?]

In all this whole world, where the hell did we land, what the hell are we doing!

Ever wondered and pondered over this?

I can’t help but just be sad, sad for myself, but do I enjoy the liberty to curse, to think bad about all this?

Is this about pursuing civil engineering or the whole of it all… the whole existence, the whole going through the motions… what’s up man?

Are we gonna get ground and smashed into bits and pieces…so that all we are left of ourselves is just a nothing…is it so?

Too much pessimism or too much questioning? What is putting you off so far? Exactly… now imagine at the end of the day all you have is a thousand such thoughts rummaging your mind, destroying your peaceful dreams, driving you crazy and playing havoc with you!

So with this where are am I heading to?

What I had in the last week was more than enough for me.

More than 15 hours of drawing to make me realize what people used to do in the ancient days when the better way around is CAD, what can I say! Never bother if that logic is to be applied to the teacher itself, will he be ready to adorn himself with leaves and twigs and replace his already tattered bike with the bullock cart… I guess not! Weekends ruined, back aching like hell, what I was left with was just observe the others… their ingenious ways of completing the same drawing homework. Never been witness to the Glass sheet-Emergency lamp setup in my life, I was surely excited and curious to this wow sight. The balancing act, the exactly right pressure applied on glass, the positioning of light…the straight thinking guys who believe in the old school of thought of hard work can never match this delicate skill…can they ever…not at all! But the results, the assessment, never care for them…they are as same as the other. The same leaves & twigs-bullock cart teacher is not smart enough to distinguish between milk and water…so sad, ain’t it?

Am I complaining or am I exclaiming in pain? Leave it…not worth answering.

Am I ready to risk my life for just a job that pays just 2.5k a month? Hey…I have to. Don’t I remember what I was advised just last week, my job satisfaction is more important, I need not run after money, it will follow me wherever I go, heaven/hell, tall building/deep tunnel, Sahara/Antartica just everywhere!

How about giving an MTP test…c’mon give it a try. All we need is to read everything, mug it up like hell and justify the fact ‘There is no best way of managing’! Yeah, right ma’am, absolutely. With the kind of lectures you treat us with everyday, we are convinced that all of management is waste, absolute and whole. Now I guess even 2 years of time learning the waste principles at any IIM won’t convince me that managing is worth it…right fellas!

More and more of all that. Uncountable. Don't bother to know them all. Better ignored!